Thursday, July 7, 2011

shenmue gaga


Shenmue. What be big deal? Me no see why sega make it in first place. Shenmue not classic. Shenmue no good, it no sell well and no make money. Shenmue no make money? No duh. It fail for much reason. Me tell you how.

7. No am have Call of Duty in title. Who want play Shenmue when you want play Call of Duty? Me no want. You no want. No one no want. That who.  No killstreak = no Shenmue. Shenmue need bald space marine. Me say that a real good reason! 

6. No gun. No chainsaw. No chainsaw gun. Shenmue no have these things and fail bigg-bigg. Yupp. Everyone know chainsaw gun am best. Who want talk people when you am can chainsaw gun people!? No, gun no count in game you play in arcade. That old game. Who want play that? Old shit graphic, and no chainsaw gun. STOOPID.

5. It take place in 1986. Who want play game take place in past? Me no want. You no want. No one want. Who want play game take place before born? Why am do that? 1986 boring. Me no want. Me all want play future game, not old game! If no future game then play medieval magic game! Chainsaw magic dragon! Lightning gun artillery alien! Chainsaw magic minotaur gun guild! Duck, dodge, and chainsaw magic gun! Zug zug!

4. No have "John Madden" in title. If game have John Madden inside, I buy. No question ask. That all me have say about that.

3. No can run over hooker. Shenmue have this, it sell 19 million copy. Yupp. Without? It sell 1 million. See difference that run over hooker make? BIG MUCH.

2. No create character. Ryo Hazuki no fun. Ignore lady, drink soda, buy toy. No fun. No fun. No fun. Me want make own character. Me want play real good guy, then me want play real bad woman! Good and evil.  It just am like real life!

1. No am realistic enough. Real time weather? Me no care. Real like environment? Me no care. Ryo ignoring pretty lady? I care. How can Ryo resist beautiful woman? UNREALISTICK. Shenmue be more like real life and sell well if Ryo no ignore woman.Yupp.






Me am sleepy. Me am go play Wand of Gamelon a small much before bed. NITE.